What Motivates You?
Musings—Jan 18, 2010
I’ve been thinking lately about what sorts of things motivate us. There are lots of times when I’ve been motivated, and lots of times when I’ve not been motivated. For instance, just the other day I wasn’t feeling very motivated to clean the bathroom. So I didn’t. Then, motivation arrived in the form of a delightful overnight guest – my mom. I then had no problem finding the ‘get up and go’ to get the job done, and I cleaned it with no qualms at all. No saying to myself ‘I’ll do it later’. I just made the conscious decision that I wanted the bathroom to be clean for my special guest, so I made it happen. And once the decision was made, the action to get it done just happened effortlessly.
I made a conscious choice to take the necessary action to get done what I wanted to get done.
Getting oneself more organized, clearing clutter from our homes and workplaces, and making changes in our lives always takes the same two steps. Step one is making the decision and step two is taking the necessary actions to get it done. Just making the decision and sitting around waiting for it to happen is not enough. You have to take action.
Whenever we want to do something there is always some motivation behind the decision to do it or to not do it. A key word in that last sentence is the word “want”. We all have things we want to do, and things we don’t want to do. And sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do, but you know that if you don’t do it then something you really want to happen, won’t. I know that last sentence may sound confusing, so let me give you an example.
We’ll call her Jane. Jane had retired from the work force a few years before I met her and she wanted to write a book about a topic that she was passionately interested in and had been researching for a long, long time. She felt ready to actually begin the writing. However, the nice office area she created from a small room off the main hallway in her home was causing her a sizeable amount of angst (as were most of all the other areas of her modestly sized home). The room was minimally furnished with just enough furniture for a writer’s haven. The dilemma was all the paper clutter. Every surface, and most of the floor area was laden with an assortment of cascading, leaning piles of all manner of papers. There were books, spiralled reports, loose papers, bills (hopefully paid ones!), newspapers, etc.. The paper was the main problem, but where there weren’t papers there were other items that had nothing to do with a functional office or with the writing of a book.
Oh my, I thought. How to sort through and deal with all this paper and get it organized so she can use it for the book! My initial impression was that the paper was all the fodder that would be used in the writing of the book. It was only after much discussion and my questions as we explored the various piles and stacks, that she shared with me that the majority of the paper had nothing to do with her book, but were from past work projects. Any papers from her research that would be used for the book were in the filing cabinet – and organized ‘enough’ to be helpful when she actually started to do the writing. She just didn’t have any space in the office to write – that was the problem she wanted help with and the rest of her cluttered home would wait.
During our conversation she would highlight a particular pile and then proceed to tell me what those papers were and some reasons why she had them. Each stack, and each pile within those stacks, had a story. The stories she shared were fascinating. The papers helped her tell me a part of her life story. I came to learn that most of the papers were no longer relevant to her life, and as it turns out were not relevant to anyone else either.
She had been holding onto them for a variety of reasons:
- they might come in handy for future projects
- she thought she should hold on to them for a while after a job was finished (even if it was 10 years since she did the job)
- she wasn’t sure how to get rid of them (shred or not, before placing in paper recycling)
- she didn’t know how long was the appropriate length of time to keep things (so she kept them a long, long time)
- she kept them ‘just in case’ she might need to refer to them (but in truth she had never again referred to any piece of paper once a project was finished!)
- all the papers demonstrated her accomplishments in her work pursuits.
- and they represented that she was worthy
When I asked her what she wanted for herself in her retirement she very clearly, and with great conviction told me that she wanted to have a home she could be proud to invite a friend to, and she wanted to write her book and have it published.
That is quite the motivation!! Imagine never having a friend come to your home because you were ashamed, and dreaming for retirement so you could write that book that is burning inside of you wanting to be written.
One question I’d asked cut through all the indecision she was having about whether she was ready to, wanted to, didn’t want to – let the paper go.
Do these pieces of papers help and support your going in the direction you want to go, or do they move you away from the direction you want to go?
After a few moments of silence while she pondered that question, a light bulb came on for Jane. (I’m sure I saw it actually turn on the way her eyes lit up!).
She knew, at a very deep level that she no longer wanted nor needed to have these papers in her life anymore. She was ready to go through each pile and let 90% of them go.
She made the decision. She took the action to make it happen.
She had strong motivation to keep the momentum going as she worked through each pile. She didn’t get it done in a day, nor in a weekend, but she knew what she wanted and she was driven to make it happen.
So, what motivates you?
