When You Want to Quit, but...
Musings—Aug 16, 2010
Have you ever wanted to quit something but in the end—didn’t? This is how I felt at the recent Cherry Hill 10K Fun Run. I’m a walker, not a runner, but I want to become a runner again. My friend Susan and I were ‘training’ for the last couple of weeks—which means that in addition to my using a treadmill, we walked a 6.4K route that involved a big hill. Susan thought it was a good idea, and I reluctantly agreed. Walking a long distance causes me physical discomfort from an old ankle injury (really, it’s pain, but I’ve decided to not complain about it here), so the more opportunities I had to walk before the big day, the better.
The Fun Run is a lot of fun. This year there was a record 242 eager people registered to run or walk the 10K route that weaves through the seaside communities of Cherry Hill and Broad Cove.
The day was sunny and warm as we left the starting line a few minutes ahead of the crowd, Susan nursing a past knee injury, and me nursing my ankle. Since I am usually one of the last few to finish we decided a bit of a head start would reduce the possibility I’d be last again this year.
I had a personal goal set for the day which I hadn’t told anyone—I wanted to learn to run again despite my ankle’s objections. My goal was to run, from time to time, the distance between some of the telephone poles. (When Susan saw me ‘run’ she said it was really a “wog”, not walking, nor jogging! But it was ‘running’ to me!).
The first 5K were the most difficult. Not just because of physical discomfort (a.k.a. pain), but because of what my mind was doing to me. All it wanted to focus on was how hard this was and how hard it would continue to be for the whole 10K. It kept reminding me that my ankle was sore now, and telling me how sore it was going to be later that night. It diligently told me that I was only 2K into this walk, and if it was hard now, how would I even finish the 10K. Trying to run even after I walked a few kilometres seemed to be out of the question.
I was about 3K into it when my friend Armand came sidelong on his bicycle and we began to chat. We noticed that some participants had an iPod and were happily zipping along as they listened to their favourite (or motivating) music or podcast. I said something like “that’s what I need, my iPod, so I could listen to a podcast instead of this endless, unhelpful mind chatter that was going on inside my skull!”. During the ensuing, yet brief, conversation he gave me some helpful wisdom (isn’t all wisdom, helpful?). His wise suggestions about mind over matter lead me to decide I would create my own podcast in my head—anything to distract my mind from the physical stuff.
And it worked!
The rest of the route was a challenge but I did it—not only walking, but achieving my goal of starting to run too, even running the distance between two poles a few times. The highlight for me was actually running to the finish line amid the cheers from the crowd of friends, community neighbours and strangers alike.
It felt so good to begin the process of achieving my goal to run again. I’ve got a long ways to go, but I’ve begun the journey. And I’m pleased with myself for finding a technique that quieted the negative unhelpful chatter in my mind (thanks, Armand!). I was able to push through the struggling. I didn’t let myself down by quitting, even when I thought that was the only choice I had. I was determined. I only had myself to please or disappoint. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought. It was all about me and a change that I wanted to make for myself.
What change do you want to make for yourself? What do you struggle with? What technique can you create for yourself that will cut through all the negative and unhelpful mind chatter that goes on inside your skull? What unreached goal do you have?
You can do it….I know you can!
